Evolution of the word "Mom"

Time - what a trip it is. Some days it flies by and other moments drag. Each decade of my life, it picked up speed. After Aesha was born, it doubled its momentum. There are times when I can't remember what life was like before Aesha, can't remember what it was like not being a mother.

Received an email from a friend of mine about being a mother, and it made me think about how much that word has evolved for me over the past 2 years....I wrote this email to my dear friend KT who just became mom to twin boys.

"I was just writing in my blog the other day about how I didn't feel like a "mom" for a really long time. I couldn't identify with that word. It felt so strange to be a mom and not identify with what it means. After a year - that's when that word finally kicked in. It takes awhile to build the late nights, scurrying to the crib when they cry, watching through the back of your head when someone else is holding them, holding your breath if you don't hear them breathing or able to watch their bellies rise and fall to show signs of life. So many things it takes through a period of time before I was able to really identify with that word.

And now, that word is a part of me and not sure sometimes how to identify myself without it. I don't know if that makes any sense. Just like when you get married I suppose. Sometimes you can identify yourself as being "married" a wife to someone, a partner. And sometimes it takes awhile to say it long enough and to do the things together as married people do before it sinks in. I still can't identify with the word marriage or wife yet. Probably b/c Ari and i haven't gotten married :).

Otherwise, I'm doing great. Still not enough time in the day to get things I want done. I look behind me each week and wished I had more time... more time to be with Aesha, more time to be with my friends, more time to do all the projects around the house and for myself that I know Toni the trooper would have done. Otherwise, being a mom has been amazing and wonderful and so happy for you. "

And so it began...

AG sent me this picture today appropriately entitled "And so it began." This is one of many pictures taken by our doula during the 4 excruciating days of my labor. We are exhausted in a hotel room haven gone through 12 hours of labor - driving to Walnut Creek Kaiser because SF was full, my contractions were 2 - 4 minutes apart and upon getting to the clinic, was told that we were only 1% dilated. It was heart breaking. I was 95% effaced but Aesha's head was stuck (we find out later) and didn't hit the head of the cervix, so it wouldn't dilate.

I had a sneaky suspicion she was stuck - and told my doula. We spent the rest of the day in the hotel room recovering, and when the contractions started increasing in strength again, tried all we could to push Aesha out of her position. It was extremely painful to do this. I wished I would have gone to a chiropractor or someone to help more had I known the situation.

Long story short, she came out 3 days later via a cesarean and a vacuum and our lives haven't been the same. Last night AG was on baby duty because I hadn't slept for the last week. Which meant that AG got 45 minutes of sleep at one given time. No wonder we are all still sick and not recovering well. But we would rather have last night than another night like the one here...

Someday, she will have a child of her own and I get to be the doting grandmother and give the baby back after 11pm. And I will chuckle quietly with evil glee to see her in the same state as me.

Sleeping in her own bed

That sounds too dramatic. She went to sleep in her own bed I'm not sure she'll be there all night (that will be another milestone to post). Lately I've been trying to keep Aesha on a schedule and I hope it's working. I pick her up from daycare around 5:30. It's been nice outside so we've gone to the park or walked around in her little cow harness. Get home and I clean up a bit while she keeps busy in the kitchen doing god knows what. Today, she spent most of that time dumping her bag of cookies into a tupperware, then dropping them into a clean bottle. By 6:30 we get ready to take a bath together.

I've been teaching her how to pull down her pants and pull them up in the morning (getting ready for potty training). We get into the tub and bath until 7pm, put on pjs and she helps me feed the dogs by 7pm. Then we get a snack - usually I'm cooking dinner and she plays on top of the counter. We eat, and by 8pm, brush teeth and head into the bedroom. Tonight I asked if she wanted to snuggle in her bed while we read a couple of books. She loved the idea, don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.

Her favorite books are: (i) Where is Baby's Belly Button? (ii) Good Night Sleepy Head and (iii) Farm animals - where we name the animals and make their sounds. The turkey is her favorite - gobble gobble. Thanks Grandmas for all the great books. While reading the last book to her, I give her a bottle. We finish reading, I turn down the lights even more while she plays quietly with her little stuffed animals - hugging and kissing their toes, mimicing me. Finally, I turn on the music and lay my head next to her on the bed. She grabs my head and pulls me close to hug me, sometimes she even kisses me (so cute). And tonight she fell asleep in her bed within 5 minutes. This is huge for me. I've always had to carry or hold her for her to sleep and tonight, it was so easy - I couldn't believe it. She was asleep by 9:15pm.

I've taken the longer route and not forced her into something she wasn't ready for... It feels really good for me that we got here together without a struggle - it felt natural. All the sleepless months are worth every minute of feeling this natural transition.

Kombucha Tea

About a month ago, a colleague at work bought me my first Kombucha Tea. I had an immediate rush of "high" at work and was quite impressed with its affects. I looked up the benefits of Kombucha Tea, it's origins and was amazed that I hadn't been drinking this sooner. Well, they sell it for $3.99 a bottle Mollie Stone's. You can purchase it for a dollar less at WholeFoods, but it's still quite an expensive daily splurge, especially for two.

I immediately brought AG into the fold and we were both interested in partaking it on a daily basis. So for the last month, we've been drinking 16oz a daily. When I realized that I wanted this to be a daily part of our lives for the rest of our lives, I began looking into brewing the stuff myself. Everything I read on the internet suggested that it was quite easy to do, just a little cumbersome and messy... then I stumbled upon a system that marketed itself as a "continuous brewing system." Meaning that you buy a pot with a spigot so you can continue adding tea to the concoction and pour out of the spigot so you don't have to rewash and resanitize all your equipment. This system was charging over $200. Although I was tempted and ready to pork out the cash to purchase the system (for convenience's sake), my Procurement background had me do the extra steps to research the total cost of the system myself. I discovered that I could purchase each separate item, the ceramic pot with the spigot, the SCOBY (the "Symbiotic Culture") for less than $60.

I then went online and found tons of information on how to brew it myself. It takes about 5 days to brew it initially, and if you want it to be effervescent then another 5 days to bottle it and allow errervescence to do its magic. I added a squeeze of lime for taste, and yesterday AG and I drank the first of the bottled brew and it was delicious. Almost as good as the stuff at the store. I say almost because the bottled tea we buy at the store had other flavors. I've since begun my second batch and am now ready for bottling. This time I'll add ginger and lemon.

If you haven't already researched the benefits of this tea, you should check out some at www.getkombucha.com - this is where the guy is selling his full brewing system. He has a blog on his site where tons of people have written to respond and provide feedback on the benefits to them. People who had diabetes didn't need to take their insulin shots when drinking the tea daily. From my research it appears that the culture in the tea is probiotic and has great stomache enzymes that will help the digestive system, thereby providing support to the rest of our internal systems.

I'm very psyched that my tea has turned out so well and that it was so easy to brew. It's been awhile since I've allowed myself to set a goal and achieve it. So much lately has been about just taking care of the daily stuff and getting through the week. I know we are just around the bend and things will be getting easier with Aesha. In the meantime, life continues and I have lots of plans.

18 month checkup & Uncle Dave's visit

Yesterday we had Aesha's 18 month check up. She weighed in at 20.75 lbs and is 32.5 inches tall. According to the doctor, she's in the 75% for height. Her weight has climbed in scale and she's back on the charts. Not a lot, but at least we're heading in the right direction. I did ask him whether it was normal for her to: (i) not sleep through the night; (ii) sleeping roughly 11-12 hours instead of the 14 hours; and (iii) still taking the bottle at night..

All normal he said, albeit on the extreme side of the normality range. The positives for being a highly energetic, little sleeper is that she's exploring more of her world (thirst for knowledge) and using more muscles. He thinks she's very lean and muscular which is great. She has a cough that's remained from the flu epidemic at our house in February. So we did get an inhaler to clear her airways - yeah, she loves that.

I'm really happy with her monthly results. She's still keeping us on our toes though. Up at least 2 times per night, but the need for milk 4 times/night has decreased which is a good sign that her stomache is growing and she can hold food longer - and remaining satiated longer as well. Her continous cough has caused some vomiting at night requiring both mine and AG's attention, otherwise, she's one healthy vibrant little girl.

AG on the other hand is trying to kick: (i) pink eye; (ii) head cold and (iii) strep throat (we think). It's taking longer than it should due to lack of sleep. Me, I've just picked up another cough - fun fun fun.

Uncle Dave's visit was a sucess. He arrived last Saturday with just enough time to hang out and relax before we all drove down to Union City for a Vo family retirement party. No. 7 was retiring and his children threw him a grand old party at a Chinese restaurant. Everyone there was related one way or another and No. 7 even came and hugged AG and Dave. Aesha had a great time running around popping bubbles and reaching on her tiptoes to grab anything she could from the kids tables (laid out with toys). She had taken off her shoes and at one point, all I saw were tiny feet/legs arched and small little hands on top of the table searching and grabbing.
She allowed Uncle Dave to feed her later with his noodle game. The rest of the week flew by and by Wednesday Uncle Dave returned to Alberquerque.

This month we have Auntie Loan and Uncle Rob visiting. The sun's been out and it's been gorgeous here in the Mission. Spring's arrived, the garden is busting with new flowers (the orange trees are blooming again) and the maple tree has sprouted beautiful dark leaves.